There are different types of parents according to physiologists. Today I am going to talk about one of these, which is SURVIVAL PARENTS. These types of parents work very hard for their earnings. They work very hard during the week for their survival. When they return to their house, they are physically there but, there too they are involved in their work. The husband is performing on his phone, the wife is also involved on her phone and the child is left with no option other than watching television. These types of parents mostly go out for an outing on weekends. They usually see a movie, can do some shopping and may take dinner in a hotel. These types of parents, even when at home, attend the office calls. One call, another call, and finally they move away from there.
Such Parents Don’t Have Enough Time
When such parents are sitting with their parents, they only listen to what they are saying without giving any answer. Sometimes, they may answer in a hurry that is while eating food or while talking on the telephone because such types of parents don’t have enough time for their family. These are survival parents. They even send their children to a tuition center by considering some points: a/ Which is the nearest tuition center? b/ How many children of the locality are going there? c/ Is the fee affordable? The quality of the teacher doesn’t matter to them. If such type of parents wants to purchase anything, they can travel up to 50, 60km, or even more than that but will not spend money on the tuition of their children. They can spend lakhs of rupees on the construction of their house or buy a plot of land but look for an affordable teacher for their children.
Concerned About The Marks Of The Children
Such parents are very much concerned about the marks of their children. If by chance their children scored 23/25 marks. They start showering many questions and asking many reasons for the fewer marks obtained and start abusing the children and start demoralizing them by saying to them that they can’t do anything in life. Even they start asking them about their company. They even give treats to the children and repeatedly say that we are spending money on our studies and other things. Such types of mothers always say, let your father come then I will show you. She is dependent on her father. It’s very wrong. The mother should make her zone solid. She should be in a position to give instructions to her children herself. They want children to study for the whole day. I would like to suggest some points to such parents. If you love your children you should read it otherwise you can leave.
Never Clap For Your Child
Never clap for your child, especially a school-going child. The word CLAP has a deep meaning. I will tell you to step by step. ‘C’ of clap means comparison. Parents start comparing their children with their friend’s or relatives’ children. They continue to give examples of the children who scored good marks. This type of comparison demoralizes the said child. A feeling of inferiority creeps into the mind of that child. Such a child becomes an average child only because of the parents. So instead of demoralizing, the parents should encourage their child or children. This comparison kills the inner instinct of the child. Believe me, one day the child will raise finger against you. He will ask, what you have done in your life. Comparison is one of the biggest reasons for depression in children. ‘L’ means labeling. Say if somebody has two children, one of them is intelligent and the other is an average student, parents always start labeling them in front of others by saying that this child is intelligent and will do something in life whereas the other one will not do anything in life.
Less Scoring Child Can Be Intelligent Too
No doubt, that child may be less scoring but this doesn’t mean that the child is an average one in other fields also. So, please don,t do the mistake of labeling them. This can harm the future of your child too only because of you. ‘A’ means aspirations. Every parent has some aspirations for their child/children.
Let Your Children Decide They Want To Do
Most parents want their children to follow the profession, which they could,t. They just try to force the burden of their aspirations on the shoulders of their children, which according to me is wrong. Such parents give birth to their children but they don’t know how to grow them. Friends if we purchase a washing machine, the user manual is given along with it, but with the birth of a child, God doesn’t give us any user manual. So, handle them with care.
Prepare A Roadmap For Your Children
You have to prepare a road map for your children. If we construct a house, we consult architects, family members, friends, neighbors, etc, but we don’t consult our children. We grow them according to our aspirations. We spent money on them, send them to school, we appoint a teacher for children, that’s it. Remember, we can construct a house again, we can purchase any car anytime but a child grows one. ‘P’ means perspective.
Example
I will give you an example. Once, on the birthday of the child, the mother asked his child if I give him chocolate, one is given to him by his father and one is given to him by his uncle. How many chocolates in total do you have? He answered four. The mother slapped the child and started criticizing the child that you don’t know how to add. The child said mom I got one from the school, one from you, one from papa, and one from the uncle, the total is 4. The mother’s perspective was wrong.
Perspective Of The Children Should Be Considered
The problem with such parents is that they don’t want to understand the perspective of the children. Such parents sometimes say that we are sending you to good schools, and good tuition. Our parents did nothing of that sort. If their parents weren’t able to do something because of the lack of resources then what is the fault of the child in that? Try to look at things according to the child’s perspective. You definitely will feel a great change in your child. So, encourage your children but never CLAP for them.
Hope you will enjoy reading this article. Stay connected to read my next articles. Till then Bye! God bless you all.
