Sometimes people complain that their children don’t obey them. They are very disrespectful. Wherefrom this tendency came in their children, they don’t know. Every parent wants their children to be obedient, respectful, and truthful. The problem starts when we consider ourselves an authority that has to be obeyed. We want to induce good habits in our children so that they can achieve success in their lives. We want them to be good human beings. According to parents, their children should listen to them to avoid any harm and achieve success in their lives, which may be true in some cases. In some cases, the theory fails because of some drawbacks. Every parent wants a happy life for their children.
Let Them Take Their Decisions
Consider a situation, when you are not with them. Who is going to help them in getting out of worse condition in that case? By telling your children to obey their orders, you are making your children weaker and incapable. If you want your children to be independent, stop suppressing their questions. The biggest reason for having disobedient children is that we won’t elaborate on the benefits and harms of every decision we want our children to follow. We, the parents should elaborate to the children about the harm and benefits of every decision, we want them to follow with the help of a logical concept. This logical concept helps them to understand the situation clearly and helps them in taking any decision. Instead, we just order them what to do and what not to do.
Never Use Shortcuts
We use shortcuts and think about who is going to elaborate on the whole thing. Moreover, We make it simpler for ourselves and force our children to follow them and we even don’t consider it appropriate to sit with our children, listen to them and answer the questions arising in their minds. Most of us don’t want to go into the complex process of explaining them. We only use the authority of being a parent on them. We simply say, do this or that and your life will be a success. This is a terrible way of parenting children.
Never Force The Children To Do Anything
Some parents complain that they have tried their level best but the children are still stubborn, they are out of the world or they haven’t seen such children anywhere and so on. The reason must be your weak influence on your children. The weakness is in you. You need to work harder to present a clear picture of the harm/benefits of every activity your child performs. A child may be influenced by multiple sources.
Child Might Be Influenced By Anyone
The child might be influenced by the teacher, a friend, or any other person. You need to work very very hard which most parents don’t do. We just try a little bit and get frustrated and leave it. We then start giving excuses and saying that our children don’t listen to us. Finally, we give up. We start shouting at our children, sometimes we beat them too and try to enforce our authority on them. We the parents reach this stage so quickly that we lose the opportunity of learning something new. If we force them we are making them weaker and in fact, we are becoming weaker too.
Giving Logical Answers To Them
We need to logically answer every question raised by our children and their objections too should be handled with care and need to do some homework. Can search on the internet and may get some tips to deal with the situation. We may need to be counseled in some cases. We want our children to obey us because we are parents, we are more experienced and we have faced such situations in our life. Why use this parent card or experience card?
Let Your Children Do What They Want
The best way to be out of this situation is that if the children don’t listen to you, let them do what so ever they want. Let them be free so that they can face the situation and can learn something from it. We just need to present the solution before them too logically. Leave rest upon them whether to act upon it or not. Just think that your child is a logical and good rational being. He/She is not self-destructive. Not listening to you doesn’t mean that they are on the wrong path always. They also want to do better. Just trust them instead of confusing or forcing them. I do agree that in some cases the children may be wrong. In that particular situation, you can use your authority. Try to convince them by giving logical answers.
Democratic Rule
The basic rule of a house should be democracy. We should listen to our children’s demands, their queries, and their questions carefully. This sort of behavior helps the family to run smoothly. The culture shouldn’t be an obeying one. The culture in the family should be to seek good knowledge. You should proudly say, don’t listen to me but listen to the best knowledge. The knowledge can come from an animal, book, person, or any other source. This way you can win the trust of your children. By doing all this you can be called a good parent. If anybody around you has a habit of using authority, just request to read this article. May this article prove worthy to the person.
So the conclusion is that Don’t be harsh with your children, be friendly with them. Listen to their point of view also. Don’t use your experience, or authority card.
- Try to gain knowledge.
- Try to share knowledge.
- Answer the questions of your children.
- Spare some time for them.
- Be reasonable and logical.
- Don’t beat or abuse your children.
- Trust your children.